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酷兒思台灣是個正如火如荼進行中的雙語計畫,旨在慶祝多樣性,與橋接台灣LGBT社群中使用英語和中文成員的距離。

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© 2017 by Queerious Taiwan 酷兒思台灣

伏查物語 | 會心時刻 Mindful Moments

November 7, 2019

阿壞:親愛的,我下週開始要出差一整個月喔,這週很忙,可能也沒辦法太陪你了。

阿伏:一點點時間都沒辦法嗎?那個可以移一下阿!

 

阿壞:沒辦法...因為我也有很多要準備的東西阿..

阿伏:蛤...好吧。

 

阿壞:對不起,你不要不開心嘛,我有時候也需要自己的空間啊!

阿伏:嗯嗯,我會好好收拾自己的情緒,你別擔心。

 

阿壞:哀..不要不開心好不好?

阿伏:這還真是強我所難阿..

 

阿壞:每次就這樣愛生氣...

阿伏:....

 

(阿伏獨自走回家的路上)

阿伏:我其實只是有點失落要離開你這麼久而已,並不是在生你的氣...

 

~~ = ~ = ~~

 

關係很多時候需要會心的時刻

透過議題的發生引發兩個人的溝通

去辨別情緒的背後帶有什麼觀點和期待

我和你與我們之間發生了什麼交流

才能夠去理解到原來背後的在乎是什麼

經過理解以後,答案也就不遠了。

 

要適應這個像期中考一樣的週期

每次都需要一些準備、可能有點痛苦

但總是會經過的

 

有些事情不是誰的錯

只是允許彼此有個適應的階段

 

並不是討厭對方所以我們責怪

一切都是因為太愛 太在乎了

所以我們才會覺得失落

 

   

 

 

Bad : Dearest, starting from next week I'll be on a business trip for a whole month, and I'm really busy this week - I might not have much time for you.

Vol  : You don't have any time to spare at all? Can't you shift your schedule?

 

Bad : I really can't... because there are also a lot of things I have to prepare.

Vol  : Oh, oh well.

 

Bad : I’m sorry. Can’t you just be happy? I need space for myself sometimes too you know!

Vol  : Yeah, I’ll pick myself up. Don’t worry about me.

 

Bad : Don’t get upset, okay?

Vol  : .....

Bad : You get angry like this every time…

Vol  : .....

 

(Vol, while walking back by himself)

Vol (talking to himself) : Actually, it’s just that I feel lost being away from you for so long. I’m not really mad at you.

 

~~ = ~ = ~~

 

Relationships often require mindful moments.

Issues arise, and this necessitate communication

to distinguish what kinds of outlooks and expectations are prompted by our emotions.

Only when there is an exchange of views between the two of us,

can we begin to understand the origin of our true concerns.

Once there is understanding, the solution can’t be far away.

 

This kind of adaptation is just like midterm examinations.

It always requires some preparation, and there may be difficult times.

But we always get through it in the end.

 

Some things are nobody's fault - 

We just need to allow each other to go through a period of adaptation.

 

It is not out of ill-feelings towards each other that we place blame. 

It is because we love and care too much

that these feelings of loss and bitterness are present.

 

 

 

 

(Translate: Sky; Edit: Alexis)

 

====  +++  ====

 

 

人物介紹

Vol 常在他人面前是陽光的、溫暖的,但實際上是易受傷害的玻璃心患者,面對許多事情都有三分鐘熱度,樂觀看待卻也極易失望,時常需要仰賴Cha的陪伴,也相當依賴Cha。

 

Cha 給人一種陰沉、冷靜甚至有些冷漠的形象,他最在乎的是Volts的情緒,雖然不善言辭,但總是會以行動讓Volts知道自己的關心,希望他能夠一直都很快樂,同時也相當依賴Volts。

 

Bad 是世俗眼光與劣性的化身,他年輕、帥氣、開朗有趣,你所有能想到的俊男美女形象都會在他身上出現,但人總有一些小缺陷,而他好像總是難以理解別人在意的事物,很難同理到他人的狀況,就像世界上有許多人總在不經意時傷害他人一樣。

 

 

作者後記

在伏查物語中,其實Volts跟Cha 都是我的形象。兩者象徵著自我的內外在樣貌。我們將外在演繹成一個模樣,以維持一個讓人感到舒適的形象,但同時我們也需要一個休息的地方,讓我們能夠自在與內心相處,是伏查物語最想表達的意境。

 

 

Introduction to characters

Vol sheds rays of sunshine and is very caring, but, on the other hand, vulnerable at times. He tends to be fickle when it comes to interest in things. He is generally optimistic but gets disappointed easily. He is highly emotionally dependent on his relationship with Cha.


Cha is gloomy, calm and rather indifferent. His main focus is Volts’ emotions. Cha is a man of remarkably few words, but a man of action and shows Volts great affection. He puts a lot of effort in making Volts happy and is also highly dependent on Volts.

 

Bad tends to judge things from a mundane point of view and is a man of mischief. He’s young, handsome, radiant and humorous. You can find every desirable, charismatic trait in him. But all human beings have flaws. He doesn’t seem to understand nor does he seem to relate to others. Just like many others that hurt other people’s feelings without even noticing it.

 

Brief dialogues from the three of them symbolize our daily lives. Cold words and harsh actions that are harmful to others can be seen every single day. By way of this short dialogue, we’re able to remind ourselves to be faced with these hurtful matters via a more optimistic point of view. In the meantime, we’re able to push ourselves to pay extra attention to people around us.

 

 

Author’s Notes

The characters Volts and Charles in The Tales of Vol, Cha and Bad are actually reflections of my personal image. The two of them symbolize the inner side and the outer appearances of me. We disguise ourselves with an image to put ourselves in a comfort zone. But, in the meantime, we’re also seeking a corner to rest and to get along with our inner self. That’s the image embedded in this tale.

 

 

 

 

 

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