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Queerious Taiwan is an ongoing bilingual project that aims to celebrate diversity and bridge gaps between English-speaking and Chinese-speaking members of the LGBT community in Taiwan. 


酷兒思台灣是個正如火如荼進行中的雙語計畫,旨在慶祝多樣性,與橋接台灣LGBT社群中使用英語和中文成員的距離。

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© 2017 by Queerious Taiwan 酷兒思台灣

Keeping Our Spaces Sacred | 維護難得的彩虹空間

May 1, 2017

I once told a straight friend that I go to a Tuesday evening MeetUp for the LGBTQ community, and in a half-joke he asked if he could join me. I told him no. I do not tell him no because I am a prick (well that’s for you to decide after reading this tiny article), but because I believe that this friend has plenty of places where he can go to be comfortable and as a straight man.

 

This particular event is a space for me where I can be myself and share my experience as a gay person with other LGBTQ people who simply get it.

 

Am I saying that straight people should be excluded from our spaces? No, I am not. I can tell you though that I am probably not going to open up to them the way I would with other queer people. That is my truth. I strongly believe that a straight individual cannot understand or empathize with the daily trials and tribulations of people trying to navigate in a largely hetersoxeual world due to fear of being outed or ostracized by their peers (or those that they thought were peers).

 

How many times have I seen a straight-person squirm uncomfortably as I talk about the ups-and-downs of dating in the queer world? Straight people cannot fully understand the pain, joy, fear, and the other myriad of feelings when sharing their coming out stories. Certainly, they can listen and say “good for you!” or “I’m so sorry to hear that” but can they truly feel it? I think not. What I truly look forward to is a moment and a space where I can simply be myself without worrying at least once a week. I can hug, flirt and be affectionate without the nagging feeling that somebody may disapprove.

 

Another concern about opening our LGBTQ spaces to straight individuals is that we risk losing our unique identity and security. RuPaul, speaking to The Huffington Post, discussed her opinion on the practice of straight women going to gay bars for bachelorette parties; although I have not seen this practice in Taiwan, I would certainly be annoyed. RuPaul states, “People who live in the mainstream and the status quo think that everyone is there to serve them.” We as a community risk making ourselves a tourist attraction to those who may have good intentions. Worse yet, we may risk exposing ourselves to the misguided individual who espouses the kind of bigotry we seek to avoid. This is of course extreme, but I feel it is worth mentioning.

 

I do strongly believe that straight people can be our greatest allies in our fight for equality that still continues. I will be certainly happy to meet you at a rally, a courthouse or legislative hall. At the same time, our community is supposed to be open and accepting. If you are straight but are not sure you fit in with the heteronormative world created around you - come on in! If you are coming to our spaces to assure yourself that you are liberal and accepting, well, I believe you, but remember you are a guest in that sacred space.

 

 

我曾經告訴我一位直男朋友我每週二固定會參加一個LGBTQ的聚會,他半開玩笑地問我他能不能加入。我告訴他不行,並不是因為我很小心眼(當然這點在你讀完這篇文章後可以自行判斷),而是我相信身為他身為一名直男,他有更多舒服自在的地方可去。

 

這個LGBTQ的聚會提供我一個能好好做自己的空間。我能在這裏分享身為一個同志的生活點滴與人生故事,無須解釋,人們就知道我想表達的重點。

 

當然我並不是說異性戀非得被排除於這個團體之外,只是我必須說,在異性戀面前,我沒辦法像在LGBTQ社群面前那樣毫無拘束。至少對我來說是這樣。身處在以異性戀為主流的社會中我強烈認為異性戀很難體會LGBTQ朋友們害怕被同儕(或曾經以為是同儕的人)出櫃或遭受排擠的恐懼心情。

 

我都記不得多少次當我聊到同志世界的感情起落,異性戀們那侷促不安地的神情。異性戀們很難百分之百的體會我們在出櫃時的難受、喜悅、恐懼以及各種複雜交織的心情。當然,異性戀們能做到傾聽並說出:「這樣很好!」或者是:「真的很替你感到難過」,但重點是他們真的能感同身受嗎?不,我不這麼認為。而我期待的只是一週至少有一晚,讓我能自在的做自己。我可以擁抱、調情以及釋放我的情感,而不必擔心別人異樣的眼光。

 

另外我擔心的是,如果我們對異性戀開放這個LGBTQ的空間,我們可能失去我們的獨特性以及安全感。知名變裝皇后魯保羅曾經向赫芬頓郵報分享對於異性戀女性在同志酒吧舉行婚前單身派對的看法,他說:「那些活在主流社會的人們,總是以為這個社會繞著他們轉圈。」雖然我尚未在台灣看見這個現象,但要是我遇到了,我肯定覺得很惱人。另外,對於那些LGBT友善的異性戀者,我們的聚會有可能變成一個觀光景點,更糟的是,可能會有些不了解LGBT社群的偏執異性戀們誤闖了我們的空間,雖然這是比較極端的例子,但還是值得一提。


對於異性戀可以成為我們強力的盟友,幫助LGBTQ社群們爭取平權這點,我深信不移。我絕對非常開心能夠在任何的集會遊行,甚至法庭裡見到支持我們的異性戀朋友。同時,LGBTQ的社群也應該秉持著接納與開放的心態。如果你是異性戀,但不是很能融入這個由異性戀視角主導的社會,歡迎你來!但如果你來到這裡只是想證明自己是個包容的自由派人士,那麼,我也願意相信你,但是請謹記在心,在這個神聖的空間,你是客人。

 

(翻譯:Wei Chen;編輯:Lian Tsai)

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